wedding wears with chapel or court train



I'm not saying it's okay to leave your child in the car at all, in any circumstance. I'm just saying that sometimes it's a lot more than just being forgetful. Lots of mothers are insanely sleep deprived, are in a disassociative state from postpartum depression, on medication for postpartum depression or any other postpartum condition either physical or mental, they could be going through some sort of life crisis effecting their current mental stability, they could also have a newborn while trying to wrangle the kids they already have into carts, and a lot of the times women get so worried and stressed about getting all of their newborns necessities (I.e diaper bag, wipes, bottle, toys, blankets, teething items. There can also be A LOT more than this for infants or newborns because a lot of random items are improvised to keep them distracted, stable in the cart, things to keep them warm like jackets, socks, shoes, blankets, hats, which doesn't seem like much but when it's all over the car or there is a sock or shoe missing and your frantically trying to find it, it can be a struggle and can be really overwhelming, especially if you have multiple children, young ones more so. Sometimes people get so caught up in trying to have everything just right and perfect for their baby that they grab everything, but the baby.) Also, a lot of new moms either struggling with postpartum conditions or not, have either not left the house with the baby alone yet or have gone with friends or partners that they have relied on for help with errands in public, such as going grocery shopping, going to the laundry mat, picking up their other children, etc. When you've only had other people getting the baby out of car seat, holding them the whole time, playing with them the whole time or feeding them the whole time it can be hard to remember to get the baby since it's not routine yet and you're used to doing these errands by yourself. Also, a lot of parents forget because they're used to leaving their older children or partner in the car with the baby with the air conditioner on and like I said before it's not routine to take them in. There's also a lot more sad and serious instances where this can happen as well, a lot of people heard and red about the lady, who was homeless at the time, who got her children taken away for leaving them in the car while she went in for a job interview. There are also many homeless women who have left their kids in the car to go into stores to steal food when they cannot afford it. wedding wears with chapel or court train

I'm NOT saying these are excuses or "valid reasons" to leave your children in the car. I am also absolutely NOT saying it's okay to leave or forget your children in your car when it would cause them harm. What I am saying is, in a lot of cases there's a lot more to these mistakes than just being a lousy, forgetful or uncaring parent. I know I listed a ridiculous amount of reasons why a parent might forget their child in the car, but that's partially because a lot of them can go hand in hand, in fact most, if not all, can overlap or add up a million times over. I also partially listed SO many things because it's a good reminder that so many different situations can happen, I could list WAY more if I wanted, both witnessed/heard and hypothetical.

There's a handful of reasons I felt I needed to speak out on this, but in this last little paragraph of sorts I'll try to be quick to the point...

From hearing stories of miscellaneous parental mistakes, whether it be from my family, friends of the family, young parents my age, babysitters younger and older than me, celebrities, daycare employees, my older siblings parent-friends, my friend's parents who range from 30-60+ (Ikr that's crazy, but true), from copious elder folks, both grandparents and not, random adults in my life and even sometimes total strangers to first hand witnessing, most if not every one of these demographics make small, huge and sometimes even devastating mistakes when it comes to being a parent or taking care of a child. These mistakes happen to EVERYONE, whether they mention it or not, or you see it or you don't. No one is a perfect parent or caregiver of any sort, whether you're a relative, a friend, or employed in a field where you take care of children.

What I'm passionately and intensely trying to say is that, these kinds of posts are too broad, they leave so many things open for millions of people all in a multitude of different situations to question themselves or quickly and solidly judge themselves in a negative way. These "brutally honest" or "short and to the point" posts group diverse people together into one group and almost always do more harm than good. I do want to acknowledge the fact that maybe some people are gonna see this and by chance that improves their parenting and if so that's great! I just hope that people start to think about the effects of what they post.

Parenting is such a personal and unique experience for everyone who is blessed to have the opportunity. It is very unfortunate and EXTREMELY common nowadays for mothers, old and new, to have postpartum depression or another sort of postpartum mental illness. Also, there are a lot of dads who struggle with mental illness after the birth of a child. Not to mention, the millions of parents who have a mental illness in general. Every year, there are thousands of parents who commit suicide after struggling with these issues while trying to be a parent. A lot of the times they believe their children would be better off without them, so let's not demonize or damn every parent who makes mistakes, let alone this VERY common mistake.

Also for everyone, responsible for a child or not, who believes what I do, that everything and anything comes after your child's all around well being, PLEASE listen. Dedicating your entire life, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially to another human being is one of the hardest things you can do on this earth. Not everyone is capable of this. Some aren't trying, that's true, but some people mentally and emotionally are not capable of this. Should they be parents? I'm not sure. But are there tons of people like this? Yes, and they have children anyways. We can't stop that. I'm not saying to excuse these people, I'm saying to be aware that there are these kinds of people and they are the way they are for reasons you may not know. You can't change everyone, but understanding and being aware is the first step in whatever path you take. Hate them, help them, ignore them, whatever, but at least understand there are people this way.

((also just a p.s I know it is very serious to leave your children in the car, especially when the weather is extreme. Most of the instances I know personally and not have been people forgetting their kid and remembering right away or a couple minutes after and immediately going to get them. I have no words about the children who have been left in cars and gotten severely ill or have passed away. It is much too sad and tragic to begin on. My heart goes out to those children and even their parents. Humans make so many mistakes and I feel deeply for the ones we cannot take back or fix.
I am not painting parents as victims who do nothing wrong, I'm just pointing out they are human beings.))

ALL IN ALL, support all different kinds of parents and caregivers! If you see any children left in a car or another life threatening situation, please act to help IMMEDIATELY, sometimes all it takes is a holler at a distracted parent. Please aim to understand as well as help. Please also consider looking into postpartum depression and mental illness in parents if you want to understand further. I strongly suggest it and encourage you to talk to their parents about it as well! Thank you!

Sorry this was so long:(